By Da Two Japanee Bruddahs
Kyle Tatsumoto and Keith Kamisugi
May 2002, Nichi Bei Times

It's 1997. People walking past historic Iolani Palace are doing double-takes at the Post Office across the street. They're not quite sure what, but something is not right about the building.

Then it hits them. The sign above the entrance reads "Department of Public Safety" in big letters. And underneath it: "Hawaii Five-O."

In a surprisingly low-key manner, filming had begun on a new television series, starring Gary Busey and Russell Wong as the leaders of new generation of Hawai'i crime fighters. Many of the stars from the original long-running series were to have roles in the new incarnation, most prominently, James MacArthur, who was to play Governor Danny "Danno" Williams.

Well, the series never made it on the air. (And by da way, one local would nevah put da Five-O headquarters in da ol' Post Office. No mo' pahking 'round deah!)

Last month, it was reported that DreamWorks had won the rights to produce a new Hawaii Five-O movie, restarting the buzz around who will play the leading roles. Da Two Japanee Bruddahs like surf dat buzz too, so we goin' share wit you our picks fo' da actors who should star in da movie (with a Japantown twist).

Steve McGarrett's arch nemesis was Wo Fat, originally played by Khigh Dhiegh. The character's name was borrowed from the venerable Wo Fat Restaurant, in business in Honolulu's Chinatown since 1882. Da Five-O Wo Fat was a bad dude, one real tough and wily buggah.

We pick Japantown community icon, Steve Nakajo, to play the new Wo Fat. Tink about it. If he wen shave his head, Nakajo could look like Wo Fat (kinda), plus he get da kine imposing presence an' kick-butt attitude like da original.

If that's too much of a stretch for Hollywood, our fallback would be Jet Li. He would not only bring an appearance unlike Dhiegh, but the superstar Li could set the stage for some terrific martial arts fight sequences.

Kono was the gentle giant of the Five-O team. Soft-spoken and reserved, the character was played by local entertainer Zulu. No question, SFPD Officer Kiyo Kanamori, in appearance as well as personality, is the perfect Kono. Plus, with his police training, Kanamori can do his own stunts.

If Kanamori is unavailable, (due to his day job) our next choice would be The Rock. It's hard to go anywhere these days without seeing a promotion for his film, Scorpion King. Moreover, The Rock has roots in Hawai'i. His grandfather, High Chief Peter Maivia, was a favorite among "50th State Big Time Wrestling" fans like Japanee Bruddah Kyle.

Now, since there were no leading female parts on the old series, we would take the liberty of changing Kam Fong's character of Chinn Ho Kelly into "Kelly Chinn Ho." (Why da buggah's last name wuz "Kelly" anyway? Das not one Asian kine name, and he nevah look hapa!)

Our short list would include Tamlyn Tomita, Kelly Hu and KRON 4 Anchor, Wendy Tokuda. We wuz leaning toward local girl Kelly Hu cuz she already get da same kine name as da characta, but decided on da Japantown favorite, Wendy Tokuda. Don't let her sweet looks fool you, Tokuda can be one tough tita.

Kay den. Veteran character actor Richard Denning played the Governor of Hawai'i in the old series. We would cast Congressman Mike Honda as the Governor. Call it typecasting, but it's not a stretch to picture Honda in this role.

Our movie Danno would be none other than… San Francisco Giant's outfielder, Tsuyoshi Shinjo. Okay, he'll have to work on his English, but his good looks and charisma alone will sell tickets. Just look at what he's done for the Giants.

Last, but not least, the hardest casting would be for Steve McGarrett, leader of the Five-O crack team. Harrison Ford, Mel Gibson and Michael Douglas have been mentioned for the role.

It would be difficult to shake the McGarrett character Jack Lord created and developed for a dozen years. Stern, commanding, edgy and with little displays of humor, McGarrett was one mean buggah. Not a role for Tom Hanks.

We think Paul Osaki, Executive Director of the JCCCNC, fits the bill. Afta all, he already get da kine McGarrett hairdo and he can be one pretty mean buggah. Only problem is, Osaki stay too short, but maybe dey can make him mo' tall wit da kine computah special effects.

Eh, we stay running outta room for dis article already, so ho'omalemale (talk story) wit us by sharing who you tink should play McGarrett an' da odda charactas. Join our discussion at hoomalemale@yahoogroups.com. And, Steven Spielberg, if you read da Nichi Bei Times, feel free to use our ideas. We just ask dat you cast Two Japanee Bruddahs in cameo roles.

Book 'em Danno!

Kyle Tatsumoto wen go Castle. Keith Kamisugi wen go Mililani. So wot?
Two Japanee Bruddahs is a monthly column in the Nichi Bei Times.

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