Hawaiian Style Weddings
Nichi Bei Time - September 13, 2003
We all have those years where it seems like we're going to a lot of weddings. This was one of those years for Japanee Bruddah Keet with four weddings (so far) this year - three of them in Honolulu and one in Lost Wages, uh, I mean Las Vegas.
Japanee Bruddah Keet also went to his first Mainland wedding recently in Newport Beach. Bruddah Kyle has been on the Mainland for a long time, but Keet is a relative newcomer.
After going to a "Mainland style" wedding, it occurred to Bruddah Keet that Hawai'i weddings - well more specifically, wedding receptions - are quite different, incorporating some ethnic traditions from different Asian cultures.
The easy difference is that you don't see a lot of suits or jackets at Hawai'i weddings. Aloha shirts are the norm at these functions. But it does seem like more and more people are wearing jackets to receptions.
The more casual attire is not surprising since anyone wearing a jacket to a wedding reception outdoors in Hawai'i will find themselves dripping with sweat from the humidity. Das why da indoor, air conditioned weddings mo' bettah.
The wedding ceremony itself is pretty much the same for locals. Visitors from other countries who have weddings in Hawai'i may perform the ceremony in their traditional way. Or they may combine a traditional ceremony with a Western reception.
In any case, there are many locations on just O'ahu where one can hold weddings and receptions. It is just as common for the couple to be married at the church and then have their reception at a hotel in Waikiki as it is for the ceremony and reception to be held in the same place.
Central Union Church in the Punahou neighborhood of Honolulu is frequently used for local ceremonies. Surrounded by a wide grass lawn, the large church can seat almost 1,000 people. It's also an easy location to get a limo into and out of. After the ceremony, it's a straight shot 10-15 minutes down to Waikiki.
Many visitors (well, those who can afford it) have their ceremony and a small reception at the Kahala Mandarin Oriental, formerly the Kahala Hilton. Away from the crowds of Waikiki, the Mandarin is nestled between the beach and the Waialae Country Club, the home of the Sony Open PGA golf tournament.
The hotel is a favorite of Presidents, stars and other VIPs. They even used the hotel to film the 1998 season of "The Hotel," a popular Japanese television series.
Ceremonies are held right by the ocean in a gazebo, directly on the lawn fronting the hotel's Plumeria Beach Café, one of the Mandarin's three main restaurants (the others being Hoku's and Tokyo-Tokyo).
Again, many local receptions are held at locations in Waikiki - the Hale Koa, Halekulani, Sheraton Waikiki, Sheraton Moana Surfrider, Hyatt Regency Waikiki, just to name a few.
The first thing you do is to check in at the reception table, usually staffed with the friends of the bride and/or the groom. For some reason, they're usually women. I guess they don't trust guys to handle the wedding presents and money gifts.
And talking about gifts, it seems that gifts to Hawai'i couples are more the cash variety than actual presents. It seems that there are more presents with gifts from a registry at Mainland weddings.
After leaving your wedding present at the reception table, they usually give you your table number and then your off to the bar (hopefully an open one) to grab a drink while the wedding party readies themselves for the receiving line. Conversation at this point usually focuses on finding the other people on your table, gossip of people there that you haven't seen for a long time, or the usual banter on how terrific the wedding ceremony was.
At the appropriate time, you're asked to enter the reception hall after greeting the couple and their families. Some Chinese American women may change from their wedding dress into a cheongsam. It's at these receptions that a traditional Chinese lion dance starts the reception.
At the recent Honolulu wedding of Dara and Glen Higa, friends of Bruddah Keet, the fireworks that begin the lion dance were substituted with the popping of red balloons, blown up by each guest and pricked with toothpicks.
After receiving an offering from the bride and groom, the lion usually goes around and guests give it dollar bills.
Guests then wait to be told when they can attack the buffet line or they're served their food. The food at these receptions is pretty standard, except that Hawai'i ones have large quantities of sticky white rice and not too much on the mashed potatoes. Sushi, sashimi and poke are also common at the beginning of the line.
Hawai'i receptions also usually do not have live bands, more often using a combination of a DJ and a reception emcee to move the program along with music inserted in the appropriate places.
The emcee usually begins by welcoming any out-of-town or special guests, which sometimes can be a very long list. He or she then introduces the members of the wedding party, giving their bios in a humorous and sometimes playfully embarrassing way.
The best man and maid of honor often then take over the podium and share the story (or at least their version) of how the bride and groom met. This is followed by a slide show of the couple - almost always in the following order: bride as a baby, growing up, with family and friends; groom as a baby, growing up, with family and friends; and then pictures of the couple during their courtship.
The program then moves into a series of banzai toasts. A combination of loud banzais cheers and the raising of the glasses, one is the toast from the guests to the couple ("shinro shimpu") and the other is the toast from the couple's families to the guests ("raihin shoku"). This custom often strikes people who aren't from Hawai'i as a little odd, but they get into the rowdiness of it.
The cake cutting, garter and bouquet tosses all seem like standard fare. It's the couple's first dance that we see another ethnic custom sometimes come into play.
The custom comes from Filipino wedding tradition, but you might see it even at weddings of a couple who aren't Filipino. There doesn't seem to be an official name for it, but some people call it the "money dance."
While the couple is dancing, guests will come up and put dollar bills in the mouth of the bride or the groom. Although this is rather unsanitary, it's another way that people and their money can be separated in the cause of tradition.
Finally, the reception ends with an invitation for the guests to dance. It seems that this is really the biggest part of Mainland receptions, but in Hawai'i versions, people usually leave at that point (depending on the average age of the guest).
Should you ever have the opportunity to attend a Hawaiian style wedding reception, write to us, da Two Japanee Bruddahs, and let us know what you think!
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Keith Kamisugi and Kyle Tatsumoto are the Two Japanee Bruddahs. Read past articles on their Web site at www.twojapaneebruddahs.com or email them at wot@twojapaneebruddahs.com.
Japanee
bruddah keet (left) readies a
balloon for popping by the bride's younger
brother, Ivan Young, at the recent Honolulu
wedding of Dara and Glen Higa